CARS - High-tech hydrogen scooter designed to sell clean technology

An Industrial Design Engineering graduate from Delft University of Technology in the Netherlands has designed and built a working prototype of a scooter, which can be powered by hydrogen. Crijn Bouman, who graduated for his Master's degree with credits, designed the Fhybrid scooter for the purpose of fighting pollution in inner-cities. Industrial designer Bouman: "the look and feel of the scooter are aimed at selling the clean technology inside".

The scooter has an electric in-wheel motor that derives its power from a (Li-)ion battery. This battery (primarily when the scooter is stationary) is charged by a compact fuel-cell system, which derives its energy from hydrogen (from a tank) and oxygen (from the air). The battery moreover stores up energy when the scooter brakes. Depending on the amount of traffic, this so-called regenerating braking system reduces the hydrogen consumption by 10-20 percent. To use the energy generated during breaking optimally, the scooter is front-wheel driven.

Apart from being environmentally friendly, the Fhybrid performs better than regular petrol powered scooters during test drives. The Fhybrid has a top speed of 65 km/ph, accelerates faster than regular scooters and can travel approximately 200 km on a full tank of hydrogen. An additional feature is the parking assistant. The electric engine can be very precisely controlled when travelling at low speeds, enabling the driver to park backwards or forwards without having to push the entire scooter into place.

The Fhybrid is designed to be hydrogen-powered, but for now the prototype is powered by batteries, with the help of a fuel-cell simulator that was specially designed for this project. "A special course and various permits are required to build a hydrogen-powered engine. It wasn't possible to achieve this during the time period of my graduation project", Crijn Bouman explained. "The faculty is now trying to assemble all the necessary means to fully develop the hydrogen-powered scooter."

The Fhybrid's complete drive system and energy management system were built by Epyon, a TU Delft spin-off company, of which Bouman is one of the founders, and in partnership with the Delft Design Institute.

Rice scientists attach motor to nano car

HOUSTON, April 12, 2006 -- In follow-on work to last year's groundbreaking invention of the world's first single-molecule car, chemists at Rice University have produced the first motorized version of their tiny nanocar.
The research is published in the April 13 issue of the journal Organic Letters.

"We want to construct things from the bottom up, one molecule at a time, in much the same way that biological cells use enzymes to assemble proteins and other supermolecules," said lead researcher James M. Tour, the Chao Professor of Chemistry, professor of mechanical engineering and materials science and professor of computer science. "Everything that's produced through biology – from the tallest redwood to largest whale – is built one molecule at a time. Nanocars and other synthetic transporters may prove to be a suitable alternative for bottom-up systems where biological methods aren't practical."

The motorized model of the nanocar is powered by light. Its rotating motor, a molecular framework that was developed by Ben L. Feringa at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands, was modified by Tour's group so that it would attach in-line with the nanocar's chassis. When light strikes the motor, it rotates in one direction, pushing the car along like a paddlewheel.The first nanocar research paper, published the journal Nano Letters last October, was the most-accessed article from all American Chemical Society journals in 2005. That paper was co-authored by Kevin Kelly, assistant professor of electrical and computer engineering.

The nanocar consists of a rigid chassis and four alkyne axles that spin freely and swivel independently of one another. The four buckyball wheels that were used in the original version of the nanocar drained energy from the motor and were replaced with spherical molecules of carbon, hydrogen and boron called p-carborane.

Initial tests carried out in a bath of toluene solvent found that the motor rotates as designed when it's struck by light. Follow-up tests are underway to determine whether the motorized car can be driven across a flat surface,

The nanocars, which measure just 3-by-4 nanometers, are about the same width as a strand of DNA, but much shorter than DNA. About 20,000 of these nanocars could be parked, side-by-side, across the diameter of human hair. They are the first nanoscale vehicles with an internal motor.

Other members of the research team include postdoctoral associate Jean-François Morin and doctoral student Yasuhiro Shirai.

AC Ace

With the current Ace, AC throws its hat into the ring as a manufacturer of truly luxurious sports cars. This is mostly thanks to a long term contract with Lotus who now supply the 350bhp engine which can be fitted to the Ace as an option, the alternative being a 305bhp Ford V8 "Quad Cam" unit. Apart from fearsome supercar performance, the Ace also boasts creature comforts appropriate to a prestige vehicle, such as air conditioning, full hide interior and satellite navigation to name but a few.

AC Aceca

The Aceca (pronounced ah-SEEK-ah) is one of the world's very few genuine four-seat long distance tourers, and is a direct competitor to cars such as the Aston Martin DB7 and Porsche 911. Powered by the same choice of either Ford or Lotus V8 engines that power the Ace, the Aceca will produce up to 350bhp and deliver the electrifying performance of a true sports car whilst still offering accomodation for four adults and their luggage in unashamed luxury.

AC Cobra MKIV

The Cobra MKIV CRS (Carbon Road Series) is based upon the same platform as the Superblower but features a carbon-fibre bodyshell which gives the car a significant weight saving. The car is powered by a 5 litre V8 producing 225 bhp. The CRS is available at a lower price than the Superblower but still built to the same exacting standards, thus putting AC ownership into a much wider circle than before while still retaining the essential AC values and performance.

AC Superblower

The AC Superblower is the current incarnation of the legendary Cobra, a name synonymous with sheer power, speed and motoring muscle which was listed for many years by the Guinness Book of records as the world's fastest production car. The Superblower is set up to meet the latest environmental regulations around the world, but still delivers truly staggering performance thanks to its supercharged 5 litre V8 engine which develops an impressive 320 bhp, and a lightweight aluminium body. Each Superblower is totally hand built and prospective owners can even visit the AC factory to watch their cars being manufactured.

Ariel Atom

No doors, no windscreen, no roof. If it doesn't need it, the Atom hasn't got it.

A true minimal sports car with race bred construction and components, the Atom is the first new vehicle to bear the Ariel name for 27 years and has been designed purely for ultimate driving performance and serious fun on the road or track. Weighing only 500 kilos (approximately half of a Ford Fiesta) and featuring a 1.6 or 1.8 Rover K series engine (Lotus Elise, MGF) the 2 seater Atom is unique in combining race car dynamics, road car safety and motorcycle levels of performance.

Priced from around ú14,500 the Atom outclasses any other vehicles in its field and has the ability to embarrass practically any other road car, regardless of price, in terms of performance. Founded in 1898 Ariel is one of the oldest names in British motoring history producing early Grand Prix cars, but best known for their motorcycles such as the famous Square 4 and highly regarded for their technical innovation and advanced engineering. The Atom is just the first of an exciting range of vehicles from the new Ariel Motor Company designed to build on the tradition and values of the original.

The Atom is the brainchild of Simon Saunders (46), Director of Ariel and a consultant automotive designer. Originally working on motorcycles, before designing for GM and subsequently Aston Martin, Saunders is uniquely placed to understand the requirements of the enthusiast who is looking for a pure performance vehicle. "The Atom is designed to give the thrill of a single seat racing car or motorbike while remaining safe, legal and practical," says Saunders. "The growing interest in 'track days', where you can drive on race circuits at high speed in safety, helped focus our concept of a race derived road car that was equally at home on the road or on the race track." With a philosophy of form following function and minimal complexity to save weight and cost the Atom is a truly new, exciting and original piece of automotive design.

Basis of the Atom is the exposed, large diameter, bronze welded tubular steel space frame. Designed using sophisticated computer modelling and testing techniques the chassis provides safety levels that are exceptional on a car of this kind which are reinforced by integral front and rear rollover tubes giving a driver and passenger safety cell. "Safety is often a low priority on vehicles of this type and we were adamant that primary and secondary levels of safety on the Atom were kept as high as possible," says Saunders. All cars are also equipped with 'E' or FIA 4 point full harness seat belts.

The minimal bodywork, developed in the wind tunnel, consists of several composite panels to reduce weight, expense and repair costs. "Exposing the mechanical components allows most adjustments, including suspension, to be made easily and quickly without removing any body panels" says Saunders, "but passengers are also fascinated to watch the steering, suspension and wheels working as you drive." The adjustable composite twin seat unit, offering high lateral support, has been designed for as wide a range of drivers as possible to solve the interior space problems often encountered in vehicles within this class.

Unique on a road car at this level and reflecting the Atom's race bred design, suspension is by double unequal length wishbones and inboard, push-rod operated dampers front and rear, usually only found on single seat race cars. Fully adjustable dampers and suspension geometry allow the Atom to be quickly set for road or track use or to individual preferences. The Atom also incorporates many other features usually only found in racing cars, such as adjustable front/rear bias brakes, PC compatible instruments and an adjustable 11 turn, lock to lock, competition steering rack. "Adjustability is a key word in the Atom. We know it will be used hard on the track and no road car will succeed there without the owner being able to experiment or make necessary adjustments," says Saunders.

The Atom is sold as a basic track car to which can be added road or race packages. Road packages have been designed to European Type Approval standards, including seat belt mounts, steering column safety, exhaust emissions and lighting (quick release headlamps, stored inside the car, are yet another simple and unique Atom feature). The Atom is subject to SVA (Single Vehicle Approval) and race packages conform to FIA and RAC rules.

Available with a variety of options, mostly performance related but some cosmetic, the Atom allows owners to specify a car to their exact and individual requirements or to tailor it for a change in use during ownership. Engine tuning options include those developed by Rover Power Train for the K Series to take the engine to 140bhp and 165bhp or right up to a race specification 190bhp, as used on Lotus Elise R190 and MGF Cup race cars. Further tuning packages to take the engine to over 220bhp are currently being developed for release shortly. Options of a close ratio gearbox, competition brakes, race dampers and various wheel and tyre configurations are available to complement the engine packages.

The emphasis for performance of the Atom is geared towards acceleration and handling as top speed generally becomes more academic on today's roads. Weighing only 500 kilos the power to weight ratio of the Atom, even with the standard 1.8 engine (250bhp/tonne), exceeds that of a current Porsche 911. With a tuning package it betters that of any Ferrari or Lamborghini and with the 190bhp race engine (380bhp/tonne) the Atom reaches levels only found in professional racing cars.

The final key element of the Atom design was to keep prices low and to make ownership as easy as possible. "The whole essence of the Atom is about the driving experience, having fun and also being able to afford to keep one in your garage," says Saunders, "I think we've proved with the Ariel Atom that supercar performance and sensational fun is within the reach of anyone who wants it."

Aston Martin DB7 Vantage

The Vantage name has been used by Aston Martin since 1950 to identify the highest performance model in a particular range. It was first introduced for the Aston Martin DB2. Since the DBS model in 1972 a Vantage derivative has included changes to the specification of the brakes, steering and suspension to match the improved performance. Now, a New Aston Martin Vantage has arrived on the scene, the DB7 Vantage , with a maximum speed in excess of 180 mph (290km/h) powered by a totally new, high technology 420 horsepower 6.0 litre V12

This new and additional model of the DB7 which has been designed and developed specifically to provide exceptional and outstanding levels of power and performance will accelerate to 60 mph (100km/h) in less than 5.0 seconds.

There is a choice of either a six speed close ratio manual transmission, which is unique to the Vantage DB7, or a five speed ZF automatic which permits the driver to select individual ratios through a floor mounted shift-lever or through the Touchtronic push button operated electronic control system. With the six speed transmission the DB7 Vantage has a maximum speed of 185mph (298km/h) while the automatic derivative has a governed maximum speed of 165mph (266km/h).

The DB7 Vantage, available in both Coupe and Volante body styles, is the first ever Aston Martin to be powered by a 12 cylinder engine and is being offered for sale to customers in 31 different countries throughout the world. The new 420 horsepower, 48 valve, all-alloy V12 engine delivers 400lbs ft of torque and is the first of a totally new generation of advanced technology Aston Martin power units which are already capable of exceeding the most stringent of current and projected emission standards. It incorporates the latest in Formula I technology and has been designed and developed in close cooperation with the Ford Research and Vehicle Technology Group and Cosworth Technology. Features include an engine oil/water heat exchanger to improve cooling efficiency and an ionised gas misfire detection system.

The 60¦ V12 Aston Martin engine, which is designed to operate at a maximum speed of 7000rpm, features four valves per cylinder, twin overhead camshafts for each bank of cylinders and a sophisticated Visteon electronic management system which has the capacity to process 1.6 million commands per second and monitors and controls fuel injection, ignition strategy, traction control, vehicle security, exhaust emissions and the engine's diagnostic system.

The Brembo brake system, with Teves four channel electronic anti-lock control, has ventilated cross drilled 355mm diameter discs at the front and 330mm diameter discs at the rear. It has been designed and tailored specifically to cater for the exceptional power and performance of the Vantage DB7. The distinctive new multi-spoke 18ins diameter aluminium alloy road wheels have been developed especially for the DB7 Vantage. There are 9ins width rims at the rear and 8ins rims at the front, equipped with ZR rated 265/35 Bridgestone SO2 tyres for the rear wheels and 245/40 SO2 tyres for the front.

The advanced traction control system monitors and analyses the performance of each individual road wheel on a continuing basis. In the event of wheel spin or slippage it will apply a correction within 64 milliseconds by reducing the power output of the engine and if necessary activating the rear brake system.

Both the front and rear suspension systems of the Vantage DB7 have been developed specifically for this new 185mph model to optimise the precise handling which is a feature of all DB7 models. At the front there are new upper and lower wishbones in conjunction with a new design vertical link, while there is an additional horizontal linkage incorporated in the independent rear suspension. New design Bilstein shock absorbers in conjunction with higher rate springs are included in both the front and rear suspension systems.

In order to accommodate the V12 engine and the new range of six speed manual and five speed automatic transmissions a new design underbody has been created for the DB7 Vantage. It includes a new front-end structure, an enlarged transmission tunnel and increased strength and torsional rigidity for the complete assembly. As with all other models of the Aston Martin DB7 the new Vantage model exceeds by a wide margin all present day crash test requirements.

Other notable design features include new and wider openings for the radiator air intakes with a new bright metal design grille. There are new front fog and turn indicator lamps reminiscent of the Project Endurance Racing Cars of the 1960s and a new high mounted rear stop lamp.

Within the luxurious interior there are new heated, Connolly hide upholstered front bucket seats with adjustable cushions, backrests and headrests together with new design instruments. The Alpine stereo radio cassette complements the large red separate engine start button which is mounted prominently in the centre console unit close to the analogue clock.

Every Aston Martin is produced individually to satisfy the precise needs and requirements of its future owner. Customers are provided with an infinite choice of body colour and upholstery schemes and there is the opportunity to specify alternative materials in place of the traditional wood veneers for the instrument, centre console and door panels.

Traction control, a multi-track CD player, air conditioning, electrically heated front seats, together with electrically heated rear screens and door mirrors, twin airbags and a fully adjustable steering column are available for all Aston Martin DB7s. In addition customers may specify features as diverse as satellite navigation, fitted luggage, an umbrella holder, parking sensors or an extended luggage area in place of the rear seat which can even be supplied with individual accommodation for the carriage of family pets.

Audi Avus Quattro

When first displayed at the 1991 Frankfurt Motor Show, the mid-engined Auvs, named after a Belin racetrack, upstaged every other concept vehicle on display.

The Avus Quattro was finished in unpainted aluminium which recalled the racing heritage of the great Auto Union record-breakers of the 1930's. The Avus's specifications were nothing short of stupendous. Powered by a 6.0 litre 60v 12 cylinder engine which Audi claimed would propel the Avus to a staggering top speed of 211 mph and a 0-60 time of 3 seconds.

The cylinders were arranged in three banks of four cylinders, and would produce 509bhp. The Avus also featured four-wheel drive and six speeds.

Audi Project Rosemeyer

This mean, menacing, crouching vehicle is not a TT on a serious course of steroids, but the latest production from the Audi Design Team - Project Rosemeyer.

Named after legendary racing driver Bernd Rosemeyer, himself quite a big lad, this car bears many features reminiscent of the historic Silver Arrow Auto Union record-breakers of the 1930's. The massive radiator grille, the long engine cover falling away to the rear with it's vertical air inlet slots, the gleaming brushed aluminuim bodywork: all these features capture the spirit of cars from a bygone era.

Also, like the Silver Arrows, this vehicle could be powered by a large capacity 16-cylinder engine, positioned just in front of the rear axle. There is certainly enough space between those giant rear wheel arches. This concept would also no doubt feature Audi's Quattro permanent four-wheel drive system.

Other external elements include xenon headlights behind clear glass covers, large diameter drilled brake discs behind impressively large 7-spoke wheels and cameras instead of mirrors to satisfy the demands of the aerodynamics engineers.

The interior is trimmed with fire-resistant quilted Nomex like a racing car or helicopter cockpit. Two leather-covered bucket seats accomodate the driver and passenger behind a panoramic wrap-around windscreen. Controls include adjustable racing pedals, an open lever gate for the six-speed gearbox mounted on the prominent centre tunnel and a steering wheel with four spokes at 90°: intervals.

At the rear of the cockpit is a window which provides a clear view of the powerful engine, with an analog tachometer to give it's pulse reading. The interior also features brushed aluminium, carbon fibre and leather trim.

As far as we know, Audi has no plans to produce this vehicle. It is a prototype and is not ready to be driven, nor has it been created in anticipation of a production vehicle: it is a technological and design showcase of the potential of the Audi brand.

Audi Project Steppenwolf

Following the successful launch of the Audi allroad quattro, this concept vehicle, first presented at the 2000 Paris Motorshow, now shows how the Audi development engineers visualise a high- performance all-rounder for the compact class.

This study for the compact class also makes use of Audi's quattro expertise and experience with the height-adjustable air suspension. The engineers had set themselves the following goal: the "Steppenwolf" project should be able to master rough terrain in extreme conditions just as effortlessly as high-speed driving. It should feel equally at home in the outback as on the motorway.

The free-revving 3.2-litre V6 engine developing 165 kW (225 bhp) allows acceleration from 0 to 100 km/h in under eight seconds. Its top speed is well over 230 km/h. Its peak torque of 320 Nm is available across a wide speed range.

The quattro permanent four-wheel drive system ensures maximum traction and excellent directional stability in all conditions and in all types of terrain. The electronically controlled Haldex clutch distributes power between the front and rear wheels. If the front wheels slip, part of the torque is put to the road smoothly via the rear wheels as required. In addition, the Electronic Differential Lock EDL distributes torque between the wheels on one axle. And the Electronic Stability Program ESP helps the driver remain in control if confronted with potentially critical driving situations at the limit.

One of the special features of the "Steppenwolf" project is its 4-level air suspension with an adjustment range of 60 millimetres. This groundbreaking Audi system qualifies the compact three-door model as an all-rounder in a class of its own: ample ground clearance of up to 223 millimetres for difficult terrain is just as feasible as a low centre of gravity and optimum aerodynamics at high speed.

Audi development engineers have come up with an innovative solution for the parking brake, which acts on the rear brake discs. An electronically controlled electrohydraulic system performs the function of the conventional, manually activated handbrake.

The body of the "Steppenwolf project interprets contemporary Audi design in its own new way. Sports character and elegance, functionality and geometric precision are its most important traits. Wide, clearly contoured lines and large, pure surfaces combine to produce an architecture in which calm and tension are equally present. No superfluous swage lines or curves upset this visual clarity.

The "Steppenwolf" is designed to be an all-rounder. Just like its legendary ancestors, the Audi quattro and Sport quattro, it offers the technology of a full-blooded sports car - on both asphalt and gravel tracks.

HUMOUR - Heaven or Hell?

Bill Gates arrives at the pearlies......

"Well, Bill," said God, "I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world, and yet you created that ghastly Windows. I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."

Mr. Gates replied, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"
God said, "You can take a peek at both places briefly if it will help you decide. Shall we look at Hell first?"
"Sure!" said Bill, "Let's go!"

Bill was amazed! He saw a clean, white sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful men and women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect!

Bill said, "This is great! If this is Hell, I can't wait to see heaven."
To which God replied, "Let's go!" and off they went.

Bill saw puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell. Mr. Gates thought for only a brief moment and rendered his decision.

"God, I do believe I would like to go to Hell."

"As you desire," said God.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how things were going. He found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons.

"How ya doin', Bill?" asked God.

Bill responded with anguish and despair, "This is awful! This is not what I expected at all! What happened to the beach and the beautiful women playing in the water?"

"Oh THAT!" said God. "That was the screen saver."

Mouse Balls

This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all IBM Branch Offices. The person who wrote it was very serious. The rest of us may find it rather humorous
Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit)

Mouse Balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse.

Domestic balls will be harder and larger than foreign balls.

Ball removal procedures differ depending on the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist off method.

Mouse Balls are usually not static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items.

Human DNA Secrets Uncovered

Subject: The Human Genome.

For many years molecular biologists have been mystified by the fact that very little of an organism's DNA seems to serve any useful function. The mystery is now finally solved. The reason why only 30% of human DNA performs any useful function is that the rest of it is comments! Once we decode a typical human genome, we see that the contents begin as follows...

/* HUMAN_DNA.H
*
* Human Genome
* Version 2.1
*
* (C) God
*/
/* Revision history:
*
* 0000-00-01 00:001.0 Adam.
* 0000-00-02 10:001.1 Eve.
* 0000-00-03 02:111.2 Added penis code to male version. A bit messy - will require a rewrite later on to make it neater.
* 0017-03-12 03:141.3 Added extra sex drive to male.h; took code from elephant-dna.c
* 0145-10-03 16:331.4 Removed tail.
* 1115-00-31 17:201.5 Shortened forearms, expanded brain case.
* 2091-08-20 13:561.6 Opposable thumbs added to hand() routine.
* 2501-04-09 14:041.7 Minor cosmetic improvements -- skin colour made darker to match my own image.
* 2909-07-12 02:211.8 Dentition inadequate; added extra 'wisdom' teeth. Must remember to make mouth bigger to compensate.
* 4501-12-31 14:181.9 Increase average height.
* 5533-02-12 17:092.0 Added gay option, triggered by high population density, to try and slow the overpopulation problem.
* 6004-11-04 16:112.1 Made forefinger narrower to fit hole in centre of CD.
*/
/* Standard definitions
*/
#define SEX male
#define HEIGHT 1.84
#define MASS 68
#define RACE caucasian
/* Include inherited traits from parent DNA files.
*
* Files must be pre-processed with MENDEL program to provide proper
* inheritance features.
*/
#include "mother.h"
#include "father.h"
#ifndef FATHER
#warn("Father unknown -- guessing\n")
#include "bastard.h"
#endif
/* Set up sex-specific functions and variables
*/
#include
/* Kludged code -- I'll re-design this lot and re-write it as a proper library sometime soon.
*/
Construct genitals
{
#ifdef MALE
Penis *jt;
#endif
/* G_spot *g; Removed for debugging purposes */
#ifdef FEMALE
Vagina *p;
#endif
}

Customer Support

This is said to be a true story from a major word processor software producer's helpline. Supposedly, the help desk employee was fired; however, he apparently sued the organization for "Termination without Cause".

Here is the actual dialogue of that former Customer Support employee:

"Customer Support Desk, may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with your word processor software."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in the program, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a C: prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"....... Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power outage ??? Aha !!! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Oh, yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!"

Computer Haikus

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
but now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
cannot be located.
But endless others exist.

Abort your effort.
Close all that you have.
You ask far too much.

Windows has now crashed.
I am the blue screen of death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen, mind; both are blank.

This crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred?

Rather than a beep,
or a rude error message,
these words: "File not found."

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
The page is not here.

Music - Prodikeys

Creative, the worldwide leader in digital entertainment products for PC users, has created and launched the Prodikeys. The first integrated music and PC keyboard, Creative Prodikeys caters to anyone who wishes to play, learn and create music in a fun and entertaining way.

"The Creative Prodikeys is an innovative and revolutionary product that brings a new dimension to interactive music entertainment," said Sim Wong Hoo, CEO of Creative. "We would love to equip every home and school PC with a Creative Prodikeys. We have combined our music and audio expertise to create an affordable, fun and easy interactive way to learn and play music for the mass market."

This unique and revolutionary interactive keyboard is a standard, 104-key PC keyboard with 37 touch-sensitive MIDI keys embedded. The included Creative Prodikeys software allows anyone with or without a musical background-novice or professional-to play, learn and create outstanding quality music quickly and easily. While in "Learn" mode, users can even learn to play a song in five simple lessons. Intelligent Chord Accompaniment will fill in the right chords and a full orchestral band when playing a melody with just one hand. With Creative Prodikeys, users can even record and save their performances in MP3 to send to family and friends.

Creative Prodikeys can be connected easily to any desktop PC via the standard PS/2 port. The Prodikeys' design allows it to fit comfortably onto the user's desktop without taking up additional space, making it convenient to work and play music on the PC.

Features & Benefits

# Integrated music and PC keyboard for playing, learning and creating music easily on the PC.
# 104-key standard PC keyboard.
# Music keyboard with 37 touch-sensitive keys, "Fun" button, volume control, pitch bend wheel and an ergonomic wrist rest.
# Realistic audio quality of up to 128 different musical instruments and effects-change the instrument, tempo, or rhythm with the touch of a button.

Bundled software features four modes designed for learning and playing music easily:

# Impress mode: Play impressively even without musical background.
# Penta Tunes for playing a tune with the 5-tone scale and matching rhythm, effects and instrumental fill-ins.
# Fun Tunes' Professional Deejay mixes for creating impressive music grooves just by holding down the music keys.
# Learn mode: Learn to play at your own pace.
# Easy Play mode: Play with full orchestral accompaniment using just one hand.
# Perform mode: Perform in style and produce your own music.
# Customize your own performance settings with chords, instruments, rhythms, tempos, etc.
# Record and save your performance in WAV, MIDI or MP3 files.
# Import a MIDI or sequence file for multi-track recording.

100 different music styles under 10 categories: Ballad, Slow Ballad, Pop, Dance, Rock & Roll, Old Latin, Modern Latin, Jazz, World Music and Folk.

# Compose and sequence your own music with other MIDI sequencing software.
# Works with any desktop PC (Pentium 233MHz or higher and standard PS/2 port).
# Can be combined with Creative's award-winning Sound Blaster® audio cards to experience excellent, realistic sound quality of a wide range of musical instruments and sound effects right at the PC.

The Yamaha RS7000

The Yamaha RS7000 is without doubt the most intuitive, musically powerful, easy to use integrated sampling sequencer ever to hit the market. It boasts every feature required for producing professional quality dance grooves in a single box, a truly hands on approach to music making, a combination of integrating loops and samples, over 1000 onboard synth voices, 63 drum kits and 6 filter types and 18 assignable knobs allowing you to bend and twist your way to dancefloor fame with the minimum of fuss.

According to the highly influential DJ magazine, the Yamaha RS7000 "...will go down in modern music making history, pushing the boundaries of live / DJ performance. It features just about every conceivable thing you could possibly need for professional level dance music production in a single box, it also an awesome desktop studio."

Building pro tracks couldn't be easier, MIDI and audio can be seamlessly integrated, sample scan easily imported from a variety of formats, brand new loops and phrases can be created from original samples or even the internal sounds can be re-sampled for total creative flexibility.

The 18 assignable knobs and pads provide real time control over sounds,
samples and MIDI sequences.

The RS7000 brings all aspects of professional music making together in one easy to use creative tool. Everything you need for professional level music production particularly in dance, techno, Hip Hop , R&B and ambient styles.

Probably the most powerful and unique aspect of the RS7000 is its ability easily mix audio and MIDI data. The 4-Mb of onboard sampling memory is expandable to a massive 64MB. New loops and phrases can simply be created using a variety of sources, samples, internal sequenced sounds. The integrated sequencer automatically breaks the samples down into discrete parts based on amplitude peaks and generates a corresponding MIDI sequence.

Audio beats of differing tempos can then be synchronised and processed with unique features and tools such as theg rid groove function.

The 6 distinct types of onboard filters include phat, resonant low pass, band pass and high pass - all easily controllable with a sophisticated multi-stage envelope. Advanced LFO modulation capabilities include numerous BPM synchronised waveforms plus a number of user programmable waves allowing easy creation of unique BPM synchronised effects.

The onboard recording functions offer 16 sections of 16 tracks each, and a 200,000 note-per-song linear sequencer. The RS7000 features advanced editing functions and patterns can be auditioned in real time.

The RS700 is the ultimate boys toy for pro music production and according to DJ magazine is "an awesome addition to live DJ performance".

Yamaha RM1x

Are you a live remixer/producer? Do you work in a studio and demand that the session runs smoothly? Are you fed up with sequencers that have the timing capabilities of a sundial? Does the term General Protection Fault ring any bells? Praying for the day you can make some serious music on a device not designed to do word processing? Say hello to Yamaha s new box of tricks, as your prayers have been answered!

Start playing the new RM1x Sequence Remixer from Yamaha, and you won t be able to tear yourself away. This is no ordinary sequencer. It s a tweakable, playable music gener-ator with remarkable editing and performance features that take you into new realms of sequencing heaven. You ll be amazed at how easy it is to create and perform tunes that never drop a beat (unless you tell them to).

As a sequencer, the RM1x extends on the features found in Yamaha s acclaimed QY700. You get 700 onboard voices, 960 aggressive preset patterns (with room for 800 user pat-terns), and up to 16 full tracks of sound.

But what s best about the RM1x is the way you can control editing and realtime performance by playing the user panel. The 16-key microkeyboard makes it easy to build great sequences, and lets you switch patterns instantly during realtime performance (And it won't crash with a general protection fault in the middle of a gig!) The 8 realtime control knobs give you dynamic control of the sound on each track, and can be reassigned on-the-fly. The large number of buttons and controls invite experimentation, and reward you with a remarkable stream of driving, swinging, ever-changing pattern and song play.

Of course there s even more. Like great visual feedback from an large backlit LCD, a four-digit beat counter, 32 flashy LED indicators, and excellent MIDI support that lets you input sync signals and control an external sampler or tone generator. Plus SMF support to ensure compatibility with your crash prone PC should you want it!

Oh... and a built-in floppy drive for easy data saving and loading.

Realtime Control of Play Effects

Control play effects on each track in real time during performance simply by turning the control knobs. For example, use TIME STRETCH to gradually change your bass-drum tempo from 4 beats to 8 beats. No need to go into editing mode or to use the cursor.

Realtime Grid Grooves

This features lets you control the groove at 16th-note intervals in real time. Use this feature to con-trol Note Offset, Clock Shift, Gatetime Offset, and Velocity Offset during performance. The Note Offset groove, in particular, gives you the same kind of phrase composition offered by analog step sequencers.

Realtime Voice Editing

Control cutoff, resonance, EG-decay, pitch-bend, and more in real time.

Large Backlit LCD

A large backlit LCD with great graphical displays for editing, setup, and performance monitoring. Four dedicated dials allow for rapid, intuitive data entry.

Mute Memory Use

this feature to memorize groups of tracks that you need to mute. You can apply or release the mute for each group at the press of a button. Sections Each style consists of 16 patterns, or sections ("A" to "P"). You can switch sections on-the-fly simply by pressing the corresponding section key (on the microkeyboard). You can also select whether switching occurs on the nearest 16th note or on the next full measure.

Sequencer

A full 16-track sequencer with resolution of 1/480 quarter note. You can use the LCD to view the event list, to control mixing, and more. The internal FDD lets you save your sequences in SMF format.

Arpeggiator

The RM1x arpeggiator produces some very cool arpeggios. And you can make them even cooler by adding play effects and grid grooves. And again, you can control the arpeggios in real time.

MIDI

With ample MIDI support, the RM1x can control playback from an external tone gener-ator or sampler, and can synchronize with the MIDI clock of an external sequencer or with MTC (MIDI time code) from multitrack recorder such as the Yamaha MD8.

Roland SP-808EX emix

The original SP-808 was a classic Roland product that offered something that no-one had thought of before. A ZIP disk based hard disk recording workstation with a powerhouse effects unit bolted on, and innovative real time performance features such as the D-beam and an onboard mono-synth. The dance fraternity, who went straight for the classic Roland filters and blistering scope of the effects, particularly took the product to heart.

We now unveil the latest revision of the SP-808, the SP-808 emix studio, which builds on the concept of the 808 but takes it into a new direction. The SP-808 is such a unique product that its uses do not stop with the dance scene. We envisage the SP-808EX sitting in a wide variety of situations, from post-production work to theatre, adopted by live radio and software houses alike.

To help achieve this vision, the capacity of the ZIP drive has been increased to 250M and the amount of onboard effects has been increased by 50%, to 150 preset and 150 user algorithms. Innovative effect algorithms such as a Vocoder and guitar based effects means that the SP-808EX is at home in a variety of applications.

Further versatility is provided by the addition of an OP-2 expansion board, which offers SCSI, Coaxial and optical digital in and out, as well as four XLR track output connectors. Of course, all the original features such as the D-beam and on board mono-synth [and those blistering effects] are still present. The rethink doesn't stop "under the bonnet" either, since the SP-808EX now comes in a translucent casing, allowing you to see into the heart of the machine.

Quote: "Another dance favourite gets upgraded and broadens its horizons at the same time. Software houses, for example, can use this as an excellent tool for speech scripting in their games, and theatres will benefit from its portability, without compromising on quality. A future classic!"

Alesis airFX

Alesis Studio Electronics introduces airFX, an innovative musical device that processes incoming audio or generates sound effects in reaction to movement. airFX features 50 quality-preset programs that modify any audio signal from CDs and vinyl to live performance in real time. While the performance-oriented nature and high-quality effects of the product appeal to DJs, remix engineers and musicians, airFX is simple enough to be enjoyed by anyone who wants to make their own music.

airFX is the first product from Alesis to incorporate patent-pending Axyz (pronounced ax-is) technology. Developed by co-founder and CEO of Alesis, Keith Barr, Axyz technology consists of an infrared beam that can be manipulated in three dimensions, along the X, Y and Z axis. Using triangulation, up to five different parameters can be controlled in each preset program.

Designed to draw more people into the world of making music, airFX is easy to operate because 'playing' it is largely based on human intuition. According to Barr, "The exciting thing about airFX is that anyone can play it - from the avid music buff who has never touched or played an instrument to the club DJ who's looking for a new sound to set him apart. Virtually anyone who wants to be part of the musical process now has the power to make music themselves and they'll find out how truly fun it is. Kids can simply hook it up to a stereo in their bedrooms, wave their hands and they've made new music. airFX makes the process seem almost magical."

airFX eliminates the learning curve associated with playing a traditional instrument or learning a piece of audio gear and provides immediate gratification. The simple interface consists of a single knob, which is used to select, engage, by-pass, freeze, and release a given effect, and an LCD that indicates the current program. 'Playing' airFX involves pressing the knob to engage the effect and then moving a hand through the invisible infrared sphere to create sounds or to alter the incoming audio signal.

The 50 preset programs include effects like panning, flanging, pitch shifting, and resonance filtering. airFX offers a host of other esoteric digital signal processing effects that include programs like Vinylizer(tm) a scratchy vinyl simulator, and a scratching effect that emulates the sound of 'rocking' a vinyl record as it plays on a turn-table. airFX also features real Sub-harmonic synthesis (which creates low frequency harmonics for very low bass sounds), vocoding, synthesizer and percussion/effect sounds. airFX program names include: Haunted Landscape, Gender Bender, Decimator, SunSpot, Tokyo Phase, Percolator, Overdrive, Psychofase, Ghost Flange, Phasors on Stun, Pitch Transporter, Snake Bite and Bow Wow.

One of the first Alesis products to feature the company's new industrial design, the unit also features stereo RCA inputs and outputs, a frequency range of 20Hz-20kHz, 24-bit converters and ships with a 9-volt DC external power supply. Alesis Corporation manufactures a full line of professional audio and musical instrument products capitalizing on its strengths in digital, analog, vacuum tube and transducer technologies. From groundbreaking ADAT digital recording technology to innovations in keyboard technology, Alesis delivers revolutionary product solutions to the music and audio production industries.

Sonic Foundry Acid Software

ACID PRO 2.0

ACID PRO 2.0 is the revolutionary, loop-based music production software that offers musicians and media professionals unprecedented creative flexibility. Its simple and elegant "paint and play" interface helps you create custom, royalty-free music in minutes. Use ACID PRO's multi-genre library of over 400 professionally-recorded loops, or those you create yourself. Preview loops against your song in real time, without ever worrying about matching tempos ACID PRO does it all for you. Click and drag to add or delete loops within an unlimited number of tracks. To assure the perfect mix every time, adjust the volume, pan, and effects for each track. And, with DirectX Plug-In compatibility, save precious time and revisions by previewing effects before you apply them. Generate and chase MIDI Time Code for use with your favorite MIDI software. ACID PRO also supports multiple audio outputs and multiple sound cards.

ACID Music 2.0

Express your musical creativity with unprecedented ease and flexibility with ACID Music 2.0. ACID Music is the perfect and affordable software solution for creating original, royalty-free music quickly and easily. Create music in any style imaginable with its multi-genre loop library containing over 600 loops. "Paint" your music without messing with MIDI, complicated sequencers, or musical instruments. Enhance each individual track with great-sounding effects that are sophisticated yet simple to use. After you're finished with your tune, burn it to CD with ACID Music's Track-at-Once CD burning, export to MP3, or publish online to ACIDplanet.com.

ACID DJ 2.0

If you want to create pounding, heart-racing, original dance music on a budget, look no further than ACID DJ 2.0. It's the perfect software-even if you're new to digital music creation. You won't need lessons to discover how exciting it is to create intense house, techno, industrial, and trip-hop music that's sure to make people move. Music creation couldn't be simpler ... just select a drum beat and paint it in. Add bass, phat analog sounds, pulsating synth lines, DJ scratching, and more-effortlessly. We give you over 700 great-sounding dance loops to choose from-all professionally recorded and royalty free. The loops you choose work together automatically because ACID "beat matches" tempo and pitch. Once you're done with your tune, save to MP3, RM, or WMA. Publish to ACIDplanet.com or stream it on your own Web site. The world will be your stage!

Roland BR-8 Multi-Track Hard Disk Recorder

The hugely popular Roland VS-840 provided a low cost introduction to 8-track hard-disk recording, wielding a dedicated guitar input as well as widely available, inexpensive storage. Incredibly well received, its combination of low price and diverse, really useable effects ensured it found favour with thousands of guitarists across the world.

The BR-8 looks set to repeat this success, being designed from the ground up to be highly intuitive and easy to use, as well as being the most inexpensive way of getting that top quality BOSS sound. The BR-8 assumes no knowledge of the recording process, allowing you to get on with what matters most - your music.

But the simplicity ends there, since the BR-8 is host to a plethora of powerful features simply unheard of in a product at that this price. Any guitar based recording product needs powerful effects, and the BR-8 provides classic COSM based effects modelling which catapults your sound into a league of its own. Guitar amp simulation, bass modelling, acoustic, vocal transformation, multi effects and an equaliser are all present and correct, and because the BR-8 is a truly digital machine, the only time you'll hear a grainy sound is when you ASK for it.

A phrase trainer is provided for you to practice at half speed without affecting the pitch of the music, whilst a dedicated on-board backing track provides the rhythm to guide you without eating into your hard disk space. A built-in chromatic tuner ensures that you stay in perfect pitch wherever you go, and when you are ready to record your work, the optical digital output means that poorly recorded demos will be a thing of the past.

Homemix DJ System

Stop 10 kids in the street today and many of them will be aware of the international stardom that follows such names as 'Fat Boy Slim', 'Pete Tong' or 'Roger Sanchez'. Now many of these youngsters themselves aspire to be the next superstar DJ's, and instead of playing air guitars and singing into their hair brushes, can be seen mimicking strange wrist movements - which no doubt mean that they are mixing.

This sudden rise in fame of the humble DJ to the dizzy heights of pop status is a far cry from the good old days when they were on the same level as glass collectors. There now exists a need for products that can feed this hungry audience, allowing them to cut their teeth and master the skills necessary to make that million.

The Homemix DJ system from Acoustic Solutions taps directly into this vein of energy, and provides the first level of DJ tools required to start along this rocky road to stardom.

Styled for the street, the Homemix is the first DJ product that crosses the boundaries between consumer electronics and the Pro Audio sector.

This product will be sold in national high street shops not normally associated with DJ type products, and also in the traditional Pro Audio stores. The level of functionality that the Homemix offers is unsurpassed, and provides all necessary facilities to start DJ'ing at under £200.

The system is based around a twin CD mixing package that offers pitch control to allow beat matched mixing. A comprehensive mixing desk is included, and an amplifier is built in. With the addition of a mic channel and a split cueing facility, the Homemix gives the aspiring DJ everything required to start performing.

Available from mid October, the Homemix DJ system has already created quite a stir, and will no doubt feature on many Christmas lists this year. The first 5000 Homemix's will come complete with SP1 monitor speakers, headphones and mic free of charge. Also some lucky Homemix owners will find a fun camera inside the box, send in photos of you in the mix, and you could be the next face of Homemix.

Roland EF-303

The EF-303 is a stand alone effects processor that has been designed to allow DJ's/Producers to take their performance to another level via use of an innovative series of effects.

Eleven of these effects can be synchronised to BPM and a turntable can be plugged into the unit directly, allowing for easy integration into a DJ set. This, combined with a BPM counter, as well as a MIDI Start/Stop function, means that you can drive a MIDI compatible sequencer or Groovebox quite easily, allowing you to use your own material as part of the performance.

A 16-part step modulator, complete with 16 memories, allows construction of complex motion effect sequences that just aren't possible using conventional methods such as knob tweaking. A monophonic synthesiser is included, controlled via the step modulator, providing the opportunity to write your own basslines in time with the records on the decks.

The Grab switch from the DJ-2000/1000/MC-307 has been included to allow the introduction of effects rhythmically in time with the music.

Roland HPD-15 Electronic Hand Percussion

The Roland HPD-15 Hand Sonic is an electronic hand percussion multi pad with incredible triggering capabilities based on V-drum technology. The HPD-15 comprises of a 10" pad which is divided into 15 parts allowing the hand percussionist to play up to 15 sounds simultaneously.

Real-time controls surround the pads, including the fantastic D Beam and two ribbon controllers, providing the percussionist with the opportunity to personalize almost anyone of the 300 on board sounds. The sounds cover a huge range including Latin, African, Indian/Middle east, Dance, Orchestral and SFX but to name a few. There is a built in pressure sensor enabling the player to perform muting and pitch bending of the on boards sounds.

Additionally, Roland have ensured that the positional sensing is so good that it can produce even the most subtle of timbre changes. On top of all that, the HPD-15 boasts a built in sequencer to help when you wish to practice, as well as recording real time performances, when you are feeling especially creative.

Clearly then, a truly impressive and powerful addition for any drummer, regardless of his choice of technology, and an additional step into a very innovative area of the marketplace for Roland.

Quote: "Expression, 'feel', 'touch' (timing!!) are all integral to getting the best performance from a drummer. It is even more critical when using percussion to use those skills. Well for the first time drummers and percussionist have now got a one box solution for all their percussion needs; and to help them we've added a few electronic surprises that will make them want to keep going and never put it down."

Dance eJay 3

Dance eJay 3 has hit the shelves, turning thousands of PC's across the UK in to a virtual mixing desk and bedrooms in to recording studios. Dubbed 'The Club Machine', Dance eJay 3 is the long awaited successor to the best selling Dance eJay 2 and with a list of new and enhanced features as long as your arm and a price tag of just 29.99.

With a tough act to follow, eJay has been working overtime to ensure Dance eJay 3 meets the expectations of the army of eJayers across the world. Users will instantly feel at home with the easy to use interface, a signature for all eJay products, but will quickly find that Dance eJay 3 is the 'next generation' in every way the software boasts an amazing 5,000 original and royalty free samples and features that includes a 32 track sound mixer and for the first time a Sequence Generator.

With generous enhancements in every area, aspiring DJ's and producers only need a PC to create a professional dance track in perfect CD quality. Dance eJay 3 comes complete with 32 tracks each with panorama control, exclusive sounds and loops in hi-fi stereo quality, FX studio, music animator, drum computer (with 500 drum samples) and the latest incarnation of the eJay Groove Generator.

All features are designed to give total creative freedom over users music production. The enhanced FX studio allows sounds to be extensively processed and is compatible with any WAV file or recorded voices and sounds, which can then be manipulated to form new samples using the much-anticipated Sequence Generator. The 10-band equalizer adjusts samples to fit the mix and the Wave Editor means tracks can be processed or cut with no loss of quality. If more sounds are needed the package includes a Web button which connects users to www.eJay.co.uk where they can download from the sound archive using a drag and drop interface. Also available at the site eJay NetRadio, free MP3's, dance music news, exclusive DJ mixes and much more.

The Music Animator has become a firm favourite in the latest wave of eJay releases, which brings the tune to life and completes the production. During playback effects can be accessed at will, colour modified and the whole thing can be exported as a standard .AVI file.

Once again eJay has come up with the goods with the most feature packed product of its kind. Leaving its nearest rivals standing, its little wonder that eJay is Europe's leading interactive dance music brand.

Features at a glance

32 track sound mixer
Time stretcher
Enhanced FX studio
Web connection
5,000 exclusive and royalty free samples
Drum computer (including 500 drum loops)
Music Animator
eJay booster
10 band equalizer
Groove Generator 3
Sequence Generator
Wave Editor
Easy to use interface

Roland MC 307 Groovebox

The MC-307 blurs the boundaries between DJing and playing your own music as part of a DJ set. Building on the success of the sound engine of the acclaimed MC-505, the MC-307 takes the pattern-based sequencing pioneered by the original MC-303 in 1996, and steers it in an entirely new direction.

The first look at the MC-307 will tell you that this product is aimed squarely at DJs, with the ubiquitous pitch control slider on the right hand side, as well as push and nudge buttons, which have been designed to emulate the operation of a turntable. This makes mixing in tracks from a live source so intuitive and familiar, that you will treat the MC-307 as a third record deck, only one that's playing your music.

User operation has been completely revamped from the MC-505, and confusing sub menus have been totally eliminated, leaving an easy-to-use operating system, which lets you get straight to the heart of the matter...writing the music.

Another new feature is the grab function, brought in from the acclaimed DJ-2000 mixer, and allows the user to rhythmically switch the effects in and out of the performance at will, which is perfect for timing those flangers to perfection.

Also making a debut appearance is the isolator function, which strips out the mid, low or top end of the music, perfect for those atmospheric build-ups. From a technical point of view, the MC-307 offers 64-voice polyphony, 24 different multi-effects, over 800 sounds [double the wave memory the MC-505] and 40 different drum kits, including genre-defining appearances from the TR-808 and 909 series.

A new mode of recording, TR-rec, emulates the step input mode of the original 808 and 909 for added authenticity, This is the natural evolution of the Roland Groovebox project, and the most balanced yet. Since most Grooveboxes sold by Roland end up gigging in the clubs, this represents our most ambitious move yet, allowing DJs to start producing their music, while staying in a familiar, non confusing environment.

Quote: "The 307, for me, highlights the future of music production. I love the concept of a DJ turning up to play a set, plugging a 307 into the mixer, between the decks and blending their own material into the mix. DJ set or live PA? Both. More scope then cutting an acetate, but just as immediate"

Tag McLaren F1-600

The F1 -600M single-channel (monobloc) amplifier is designed to a performance level matching the stunning F1 AvantGarde loudspeaker, which audio reviewers world-wide regard as one of the best speakers available. It will be able to drive any loudspeaker to high levels for extended periods.

Power output is conservatively rated at 300W rms into 8 Ohms, 600W rms into 4 Ohms, 1000W rms into 2 Ohms and o massive 17QOW (IHF burst) into 1 Ohm, combined with very high reliability and full protection against any mishap.

The F1 -600M is a balanced output architecture design, this approach drives both output terminals with signals in anti-phase, increasing the slew rate, reducing noise and dramatically reducing susceptibility to external electrical fields both internally and in loudspeaker cables.

The F1-600M has one of the most accurate quiescent current controls ever implemented. This stabilises quiescent current against output level and load changes, mains voltage changes and ambient temperature changes which can all moke significant differences to performance from hour to hour as well as from one room or abode to another.

The output devices are bipolar iunction transistors chosen for maximum linearity, in terms of sustained current gain at high collector currents. The advanced MT-200 package used gives a greater degree of heat transfer than the traditional T03. This reduces Iunction temperatures for greater reliability and reduces dynamic temperature change.

The TAG McLaren Audio Straight-Line Technology concept, where LF bandwidth definition and DC control are implemented by o servo system rather than series capacitors, is fully implemented in the power amplifier sections

A single ended and a balanced input are standard, the advanced CAST (Current Audio Signal Transmission) interface is available as an option. All inputs are switchable manually or by remote control. Switching is implemented as a 10 millisecond cross-fade rather than an abrupt cut, eliminating clicks and spurious transients.

The single ended RCA phono input uses an unusually high input impedance without compromise of noise performance, the input is via a high quality, heavily gold-plated, RCA phono socket with PTFE insulation. The balanced input is via a metal-bodied XLR connector with gold-plated contacts. The input draws on professional practices to give a high degree of common-mode relection.

A 'ground lift' switch has been added to allow disconnecting the amplifier's audio ground from the chassis safety ground to enable difficult ground-loop problems to be dealt with correctly and safely.

The inclusion of the TAGtronic Communication Bus allows for future expansion of facilities, such as multi-room and room automation, and field upgrades (even via the Internet using a PC) as all of the F1-600M'a firmware is stored on a re-programmable memory device. Firmware upgrades will be available from the TAG McLaren Audio website or from authorised TAG McLaren Audio retailers.

The Minipod

Is is an alien egg case? A robotic snowman? No, it's actually the Minipod speaker from Blueroom Loudspeakers.

Blueroom Loudspeakers are launching eight new and exciting finishes in the Minipod speaker. The Lucente Minipod and omnimount wall bracket in transparent cobalt blue and translucent anthracite - as seen on the set of the Big Breakfast, is part of the new range to be launched 21st 'September at Live 2000.

Blueroom are also unveiling the Minipod Bass-Station prototype, the ultimate Minipod accessory! The Minipod reproduces the most refined 100 watts of pure sound you'll ever hear. Innovative and stylish, this speaker is a new concept with a new dimension. Out goes the black square box and in comes an aurally stimulating and visually stunning object d'art. Available in a range of metallic and matt finishes, the Minipod lends a stylish touch to any interior.

Yamaha DJXIIB

Have you ever listened to Fatboy Slim, Phats & Small, Judge Jules and thought "I wish I could do that". Well, now's your chance, with the Yamaha DJXIIB making your own dance tracks has never been so much fun and affordable. It's all there for you, all you need is an idea!

Whether you're a garage purist, a progressive house head, trance tiger or drum n' bass basher the DJXIIB from YAMAHA is all you need to start making funk-ridden beats and mesmerising dance grooves. This new concept in music making with its on-board scratchpad, samples, filters and patterns is worthy of any dancefloor or bedroom. It's a brilliant way to get started in music and features many sophisticated, yet easy to use functions normally associated with dear used bv pro-DJ's.

Priced at 199, it will appeal to wannabe DJ's and more accomplished groovemeisters alike. Create hundreds of your own great tracks with consummate ease by tapping, pushing, sliding a scratching! The DJXIIB is a doddle to use, modelled on a 12" record flightcase it looks fantastic with it's heavy duty corners, it's big buttons, faders and scratchpad ensure intuitive operation of all functions.

Looks are only skin deep so this box is crammed with the best of today's sounds, grooves and samples and no doubt some of tomorrows!

The 70 on-board patterns can be modified in real time using the filter and resonance controls and up to II separate effects including ring modulation, flanger, slicer and delay can be applied. Switching and mixing between patterns and samples couldn't be easier with the big central fader. There are plenty of samples to choose from covering virtually every type of scratch, sample and effect. The onboard patterns have been developed in association with some of Europe's top programmers and DJ's.

No extra gear is required, DJXIIB comes fully loaded with a stereo speaker system which can of course be connected to external (louder!) systems and the console is fully MIDI (Musical Instrument Digital Interface) compatible for use with computers and other equipment.

When Yamaha introduced the original keyboard based DJX in 1998 it caused a sensation and now it's back. Louder, meaner, fatter and funkier then ever before.

The original DJX introduced a whole new generation of people to music making and the DJXIIB is set to grab the imagination of anybody who has dreamed of following in the footsteps of their clubbing heroes.

Yamaha music production products are the choice of many of the most popular and influential pioneers of today's dance scene and DJXIIB is based around many of the key features of Yamaha's proproducts.

Masters 3 - Marie Curie

Maria Sklodowska (sklaw DAWF skah) was born November 7, 1867 in Warsaw, Poland. She would become famous for her research into radioactivity, and was the first woman to win a Nobel prize.

Marie Curie grew up in a family that valued education. As a young woman she went to Paris to study mathematics, chemistry and physics. She began studying at the Sorbonne in 1891, and was the first woman to teach there. She adopted the French spelling of her name (Marie) and also met Pierre Curie, who taught physics at University of Paris. Marie and Pierre soon married, and teamed up to conduct research on radioactive substances. They found that the uranium ore, or pitchblende, contained much more radioactivity than could be explained solely by the uranium content.

The Curie's began a search for the source of the radioactivity and discovered two highly radioactive elements, "radium" and "polonium." The Curie's won the 1903 Nobel prize for physics for their discovery. They shared the award with another French physicist, Antoine Henri Bacquerel, who had discovered natural radioactivity. In 1906 Pierre, overworked and weakened by his prolonged exposure to radiation, died when he was run over by a car.

Madame Curie continued her work on radioactive elements and won the 1911 Nobel prize for chemistry for isolating radium and studying its chemical properties. In 1914 she helped found the Radium Institute in Paris, and was the Institute's first director. When the first world war broke out, Madame Curie thought X-rays would help to locate bullets and facilitate surgery. It was also important not to move the wounded, so she invented X-ray vans and trained 150 female attendants.

In 1934, at the age of 67 Madame Curie died of leukemia, thought to have been brought on by exposure to the high levels of radiation involved in her research. After her death the Radium Institute was rename the Curie Institute in her honor.

Michelangelo

Michelangelo Buonarroti was born on March 6, 1475 in the village of Caprese, Italy. He was one of the most important artists of the Italian Renaissance, a period when the arts and sciences flourished. Michelangelo became an apprentice to prominent Florentine painter, Domenico Ghirlandaio at the age of 12, but soon began to study sculpture instead. He attracted the attention and patronage of Lorenzo de Medici, who was ruler of Florence until 1494. At age 23, Michelangelo completed his magnificent "Pieta," a marble statue that shows the Virgin Mary grieving over the dead Jesus. He began work on the colossal figure of "David" in 1501, and by 1504 the sculpture (standing at 4.34m/14 ft 3 in tall) was in place outside the Palazzo Vecchio. The statue became a symbol for the new republic that had replaced Medici rule.

Michelangelo portrayed "David" partly as the ideal man, partly as an adolescent youth. Unlike predesessors by other sculptors which depict David with the grissly head of the giant under his foot, Michalangelo poses David at the moment he faces the giant, the deed before him. He believed that this was David's moment of greatest courage.

From 1508 until 1512 Michelangelo worked on his most famous project, the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican. He had always considered himself a sculptor and resisted painting the Sistine with characteristic vehemence: "I cannot live under pressures from patrons, let alone paint." Only the power of the Pope Julius II forced him into the reluctant achievement of the world's greatest single fresco. He covered the ceiling with paintings done on wet plaster, showing nine scenes from the Old Testament. Michelangelo later painted "The Last Judgment" on the altar wall of the Sistine Chapel.

Toward the end of his life, Michelangelo became more involved in architecture and poetry. In 1546 he was made chief architect of the partly finished St. Peter's Church in Rome, where the Pieta is now kept.

Niels Bohr

Niels Bohr was born on October 7, 1885 in Copenhagen, Denmark. Bohr made numerous contributions to our understanding of atomic structure and quantum mechanics. He won the 1922 Nobel Prize for physics, chiefly for his work on the structure of atoms.

Bohr received his doctorate in physics from the University of Copenhagen in 1911. He then traveled to Manchester, England to study under British physicist Ernest Rutherford. In 1913 Bohr published a theory about the structure of the atom based on an earlier theory of Rutherford's. Rutherford had shown that the atom consisted of a positively charged nucleus, with negatively charged electrons in orbit around it. Bohr expanded upon this theory by proposing that electrons travel only in certain successively larger orbits. He suggested that the outer orbits could hold more electrons than the inner ones, and that these outer orbits determine the atom's chemical properties. Bohr also described the way atoms emit radiation by suggesting that when an electron jumps from an outer orbit to an inner one, that it emits light. Later other physicists expanded his theory into quantum mechanics. This theory explains the structure and actions of complex atoms.

Bohr became a professor of physics at the University of Copenhagen in 1916. In 1920 Bohr was named director of the newly constructed "Institute of Theoretical Physics" at the University. Bohr became a Fellow of the Royal Society of London in 1926, receiving the Royal Society Copley Medal in 1938. During World War II, Bohr fled Copenhagen to escape the Nazis. He traveled to Los Alamos, New Mexico to advise the scientists developing the first atomic bomb. He returned to Copenhagen after the war and later promoted the peaceful use of atomic energy.